ABAB AD

A rough one to start off with:
Prince Charles was single, titled virgins were rare.
Camilla had gone off and married her beau.
He courted young Diana, who worked in child-care,
And the rest, they say, is history you know.

Remembering Whacko Jacko:

The King of Pop made Bad, Ben, Jam,
The Moonwalk, Scream and Thriller
But a dose of laced lorazepam
Soon put him in the chiller.

I remember writing a verse to "I Can See Clearly Now The Rain Has Gone"
called "I Can't Believe That Charlemagne Has Gone" which may (or may not) be along similar lines to Mrs B's.

In fact some of us (not impugning you directly Nib) may have a whole backlog of material that could work here, except for the 50-year rule and the Elizabethan ABAB rule

eg, for recent events, but AABB quatrains

Madonna to that Malawi father......

This life I offer to him
is worth the pain of losing
your son who'd end up hating
the life that you've been creating

Don't think that I don't worry
(not much though, I'm in a hurry)
I'll pay witchdoctors to heal the
enormous pain you'll be feeling

or Britney’s wardrobe malfunction as she alighted from a cab......

Britney's doodah, out on display
my oh my what a cute passageway
plenty of doodahs made that mistake
but Britney's doodah taketh the cake

Britney's doodah, what a display
my oh my what a wonderful day
to see any more you'd need an X-ray
It’s Britney's doodah! Hip hip hooray!

or ABAB quatrains but on ancient events......

Once upon a time I was sinning away
life was just a walk in the park
I so regret the day
I totally dissed Noah's ark

But to ABAB, AND current events:

Angelina (the devil) and Jennifer Aniston (Georgia)......

Angelina went round to Jennifer
She was lookin for her man to steal
always bags her boys coz the gal employs
freakin shitloada sex appeal

or Posh Spice and David Beckham......

They call me the Posh Spice
and I change outfits thrice a day
but the trick is to accessorize
it'll nail you a nice hombre

They call me the Posh Spice
and my poodle's clipped twice a day
I can't get him more minitiarised
I discovered to my dismay

They call me the Posh Spice
I eat TWO grains of rice a day
though to not have to eat would be nice
I just hope they devise a way

A dude texting another dude in 1989......

I am tripping while I write this
so you might think it don't make sense
but some twit just on the wireless
said they're pulling down that Berlin fence

and just to break all the rules, just like they broke Pluto's heart, an AABBCCB......

Faintly up there on display
(just before the Milky Way)
lies Pluto, stripped of planetary worth
by some nerds on earth
Proud ex-planet number nine
always such a love of mine
was cruelly from the solar system turfed

Some fab ABABs Mauve, and aberrant ABABs too. Keeping in history's shallow end:

Late 70s, early 80s, on every evening telly
A clean-cut sitcom made its mark
Until Mr Arthur Fonzarelli
Donned skis and jumped the shark.

and this from the wading pool...

At a hotel desk in Memphis
near where Elvis Presley’s house is
Mr Whitlam’s kerrly nemesis
tried to check out sans his trousers

Entry number 96......

The eighties was the tech age
ruled by bacchanalian yuppies
But the seventies was the decade
of the Abigailian puppies

I'm not sure of the origin of this, but there is obviously a connection between some of the longer term stormers and a certain Australian actress. So in keeping with tradition-

Battling fierce competition and sub-standard plots,
Aussie actors in LA do well to survive,
One stunning success is our own Ms Watts,
Who raised a few eyebrows in "Mulholland Drive".

This offering may either be seen as ambitious, or foolish, or possibly both. Trying to combine an ABAB with a cryptic clue mix (sorry DA, we just can't help ourselves) of the Fab 4...with 4 different kinds of clue. Here goes nothing-

Can a peace-loving genius save the world with a song?
Cracked egg, or 'e picks up guitar, gently strums,
Sounds of poor learner at the piano all day long,
Staring out from inside his world, and his drums.

Inspired by leaving Christchurch, just before the earthquake:

A beautiful city of gardens and churches,
Christchurch lay tranquil by the banks of Avon.
The tectonic plates shift - the whole city lurches,
Buildings, lives, history - and tourists - all gone.

This is the story of a crappy sitcom,
Behind the scenes were lots of lurid tales.
The eldest son was getting with the set Mom,
The father was getting his with lots of males.

(obviously to the theme of the Brady Bunch)

Something about March 15:

Caesar was warned in 44 BC
And now the same counsel applies
Cave Ides Martii
And of earthquakes, tsunamis and lies

Hard to put a finger on Naomi Watts first appearing as a Brainstorm talisman, but the Fay Wray protege is always welcome.

And I know this week is a leap from our customary conniving, but I was so wowed by the Burvall story, I felt compelled to rally together a modest tribute.

Going for the literary now:

In 1993 the Australian/Vogel Award
Went to Helen Demidenko, a marvel
Who turned out to be a Queensland fraud,
As the hand in fact belonged to Darville.

Bleach blonde hair, lips clowned with zinc
there's no beach here thought Gatting.
Then drift and spin, a fateful clink,
A brave new world for batting.

I am happy to take the blame for Naomi Watts ("Secret Sects" from October 2009 on the old site).

Or (as Bob Ellis would say) perhaps you disagree.

'The Age" Odd Spot: Tuesday March 15, 2011: A rower plans to set a world record by becoming the youngest male to cross the Indian Ocean solo. But Keith Whelan, from Kildare, Ireland, will be completely naked when he attempts the 6000-kilometre crossing from Western Australia to Mauritius.

A young rower, Keith Whelan, from Irish Kildare,
Plans to cross the Indian Ocean, Perth to Mauritius.
He aims for fame by rowing, solo, naked, totally bare
Let's hope his sponsors help him prepare with SPF 30+.

Michael Jackson died
because his doctor over-filled him
but Aussies theorised
twas Lindy Chamberlain wot killed him

Lady Di, or the people’s princess as she was called,
Hit a Paris pole in 1997, and splattered.
Was it Camilla? Or were the Michelins bald?
With scandal gone, only conspiracy mattered.

If you're intending to fray some nerves
try Wikileaks - or Google
But if you want vengeance (or just a perv)
try "that" St Kilda schoolgirl

(apologies to the non-AFL-savvy)

Bob Geldof,Phil Collins, Mick Jagger and Queen,
To alleviate Africa's starvation plight, would
stage the biggest rock show ever seen.
Raised millions of bucks, got Geldof a knighthood.

The Christchurch Kiwis need our aid
a monstrous task to grapple
The one condition that they made
was don’t send Trevor Chappell

As the calendar t'wards double zeros was headin',
a pestilence loomed, a great fear to allay.
Which warriors could ward off a sure Armageddon?
The I.T. people. The bug -Y2K.

Earth’s interior grumbles, its outer parts move:
Earthquakes, tsunamis, death, nuclear fear.
The world’s best minds are unable to prove
the next place to fail – all hope it’s not near.

Office 2010 - apologies to Paul

Every time she starts the system,
When she wants to type a letter,
All the icons have gone missing,
Which makes her feel no better.

Madoff, et al (sing to Billy Joel's Piano Man)

Cook me the books, you’re the auditor,
There’s just three billion more to hide.
When you’re done I’ll head off to Majorca,
And you can come, too, for the ride.

(Tongue firmly in cheek)

Richard and Lily and some other guy,
each weeknight at six on the tube -
I sit, wonder "How?" and oftentimes "Why?"
and decide that my brain needs a lube.

Ere he died JFK had a plan,
Accomplished when Armstrong opined:
"That's one small step for a man,
One giant leap for Mankind."

We seem to have made a habit of killing our best over 50 years. Not all that funny, and it's perhaps as much C18th-Swiftian as Elizabethan. One for each decade:

60s
From bookshop or from grassy knoll
The Head of State took bullets three;
Then just before a primary poll
Sirhan – a double – K------.

70s
The guy that Jack beat came back strong
And had the CIA on side:
When Chile’s people voted wrong,
In seventy-three A------ died.

80s
The eighties was a killing field:
S---- and G----- fell to killers
John L-----’s fate by C------ sealed
And Dian F-----’s by guerrillas.

90s
Then Anwar’s and Indira’s ends
Were matched by R----’s, G-----’s II;
While far away the IRA
The brave Veronica G----- slew.

00s
P------------ too did fall
To those who feared the truth: gunned down;
While lost in faraway Nepal,
Were several heads that wore the crown.

This list could longer have been made.
It makes you wonder, does it not?
Life’s villains can the guns evade
While good guys commonly get shot.

XXX Warning - Language Alert XXX

The arc of ALP history:

In 75, Gough got the sack
The rage maintained and struck
In 2010 'twas a factional hack
that planned poor Kev's ratf**k