Altarations

Celebrity agent Max + Mrs Crowe = Markson-Spencer

Brit F1 driver David + IT billionaire Bill = Purley-Gates

Aussie singer Helen + Aussie tennis champ Pat = Reddy-Cash

Python Eric + OneTel Jodie = Idle-Rich

Singers Donna + Billie = Summer Holiday

How to sneak in a fictional character:

Monarchist David and Musician Angus and/or Julia = Cartoon Character Fred

and more conventionally

Actor Russell and Newrsreader Natalie = Crowe-Barr

Bending the rules for a threesome...

Journo Helen + tennis champ Jim + blues legend John = Daley Courier Mayall

One that breaks all the rules, but is otherwise appropriate, I believe:
One of the dwarves marries the offspring of Carmel Bird (author) and Gary Day (actor)to give us Happy Bird-Day.

and to get her out of the way early:

Actress Naomi and Inventor James = Watts-Watt

Fitingly, this amalgamation results in another fictional character famed for stitching together creations from disperate bodies:

Diarist Anne and Scientist Albert = Fictional Scientist Victor

oops, disparate

Tragic singer Courtney + Baroque composer = Love Handel

FI driver Jensen + Comic Bob = Button Downe

Actress Liz + Canberra architect = Hurley-Burley Griffin

Singer Michael + Newsreader Chris = Buble Bath

Singers James + Britney = Blunt Spears

Actors Rose + Beau or (Jeff) = Byrne-Bridges

Politician Bob + Writer Ruth = Carr-Park

Actors Sam + Lesley Anne = Neil Down

warning: profanity alert

Friends actress Courtney + Film director Jerry = Cox-Zucker

English soccer captain John + UK identity John = Terry-Bull (yes, it most certainly is!)

The patrons of Talk Like A Pirate Day could be:

Actress Angelina and Aussie Musician Tim = Jolie-Rogers

My turn to push the concept just to create a groner:

If Soccer Player Jade hooked up with the offspring of Cricketer Marcus and Singer Kanye, the resulting child = North by North-West.

Apologies, but I just can't move on from last week's storm...

Another threesome-

Radio's Fifi + Actor Anthony + Wallaby Mark = Box Quinn Ella

Also from last week:

Comedian Dick and Actor Michael = Emery-Caine

Ex-cricketer Steve + Ex-GG Sir John = Another Ex-cricketer Max

Author Patrick + MP Penny = White & Wong

Cartoonist Mel + Led Zep's Jimmy = Blanc Page

Cambodian nasty Pol + Led Zep's Robert = Pot Plant

British comics Dawn and Stephen = French Fry

If the 2 Robert's acting in Flying High got it on = Hays Stack

More gay actors in America (Martin and Robert again)= Short Stack

America's most famous film cowboy John and our most famous GG John = Wayne Kerr

80's cricketers Ray and Kim = Bright Hughes

Family-friendly Darryl and Doris = Somers Day

Pick-a-Box Bob + Blues singer Chris = Dyer Rea

Photographer Thomas + Singer Neil = Ruff Diamond

House doctor Hugh + Actor Minnie = Laurie Driver

JPR: slightly tangential -- Crowe and Blanchett pairing up in that woodland movie in order to .. 'RustyCate'?

If the Captain married Fifi we'd have a Thunder Box.

If Fifi married the jockey Shane it would be Box and Dye.

If the artist Tracey married James Bond's boss: Emin M.

Politician Wayne and Ski Instructor Stuart: Swan-Diver

Feminist Naomi and Artist James = Wolf Whistler

Actor Walter + 70s singer Jon = Pidgeon English

Actress Gwen + Apple guru Steve = Plumb Jobs

Labor powerbroker Karl (ok he's not exactly a celeb, but is in the headlines today) + actor Gary = Bitar Sweet

Sprinters extraordinaire Sebastian + Usain = Coe-Bolt

Entertainer Red + Poet Pam = Symons Ayers (put your hands on your head)

Pollie Bill + Actor Gary = Shorten-Sweet

Bill could then go for a menage a trois as part of:

Pollie Bill + Model Miranda + Ex-Pollie Meg = Shorten-Kerr-Lees

Might be stretching the friendship here with a 6-way orgy...

Author JK + boxer Danny + comedian Adam + singer Frankie + comics Joan and Mel = Rawling Green Hills, Valli, Rivers and Brooks

Need to torture the pronunciation a little, but I couldn't resist getting two classical composers together-

Frederic + Franz = Chopin Liszt

...and a 4-way all male union...for the tradies-

Actor Christopher + President Vladimir + golfer Stewart + race-caller Johnny = Plummer Putin Cink & Tapp

some AFL ones:

matchwinners Michael + Barry = Long-Hall

current stars Dayne + Brian = Swan-Lake

Tennis star Margeret + actor Martin = Court-Short

Martin (again) and trainer Bart = Short-Cummings

Hi team. It's DA in transit here, iphoning my thanks for a dynamic deluge. Back in the word cave late Friday with nice post lined up for tomorrow.
In the meantime:
Kangaroo Darren + IT's Bill = Lockyer Gates
Pollies John and Clover = Lazarus Moore

Blondie Debbie + Comic Jim = Harry Carrey

If John Laws entered into a same-sex marriage with Melbourne footballer Shane Zantuck, their name would be Zantuck-Laws, and any adopted kids would be very joyful on Xmas mornings

And if one of those kids was named Virginia Theresa, she would be called...
yes, Virginia Theresa Zantuck Laws

A same-sex partnership that ends up completely swapping genders:

Director John and Gernman Novelist Thomas = Woo-Mann

JPR: a whole sub-genre with Rev Spooner getting hitched to eg a hypothetical daughter of Jazzman John Dankworth = Spooner Dankworth

Kate Cann and Yogi Berra: Cann-Berra

Henry Kissinger and Deep Throat: Kissinger-Throat

Jon English and Coco Chanel: English-Chanel

Anne Frank and Albert Einstein: Frankeinstein

Dr Sears and Kelly Slater: Sears-Slater

Dan Rather and Alan Knott: Rather-Knott, and when they then hooked up with Dr No, I for one would....

Bushie Bob and Landscaper Edna = Katter-Walling

MP Louse and Inspector George = Markus-Gently
(I've spent 10 days vetting exams!)

ah, whoops, just read how they're to be presented -
sorry...

Author Kate + Sportsman Yogi = Cann-Berra
Secretary Henry + Informer Deep = Kissinger-Throat
Singer Jon + Scentstress Coco = English-Chanel
Wartime heroine Anne + Scientist Albert = Frankeinstein
Advicegiving Doctor + Actress Helen = Sears-Slater
Newsman Dan + Keeper Allan = Rather Knott
Add in Dr No and what do you get? = __ __ __

Bikie Casey and actor Russell = Stoner-Crowe

Chairman Mao Tse and Statesman Henry = Tung-Kissinger

Painter Winslow + actress Lindsay = Homer-Lohan
Comedienne Roseanne + promoter Don = Barr-King
singer Alda + journo Jana = Noni-Wendt
prem. John + pres. Ulysses (or comediennes Mary-Anne + Corinne) = Fahey-Grant
premier John + activist Martin Luther = Fahey-King
actress Sophie + activist Martin Luther = Lee-King

Home-grown singers Darryl + Billy = Cotton Field

Superstar author JK wed superstar Hollywood director Oliver. They settled in England and embarked on a new project...the next generation of Harry Potter books and movies. He searched for local celebrities to fill key roles, casting ex-cricketer John as Voldemort, and model Kate as the adult Hermoine. And yep, you can guess the tabloid headlines...

Rowling Stone gathers Snow, Moss

actress Jessica + fool-pitier Mr = Biel-T
bowler Michael + rock star Mike = Holding-Patton
comic John + AFLer Doug + shoeman Jimmy = Belushi-Wade-Chou

going slightly outside the square [aka being creative] , if Gary Glitter (implausibly) got hitched to a famous popular songwriter we might get Perving Berlin