September 29 2011
Evil Twinnage
With Dane Swan picking up the Brownlow this week, and Wayne Swan scoring his own bling for being the World’s Best Holder of the Public Purse, a funny rumour started brewing. Could these men be twins, the mild and wild extremes of the one family tree?
Now let’s forget the age gap, but keep with the gag – and the rhyming idea. What other opposite siblings don’t we know about? Here’s a list:
Ted Nile – runs a prawn & porn pub in Darwin, married to Vince
Bevan Rudd – charismatic soul singer based in Greenwich Village
Dharma Bin Laden – Malibu ladette so totally into Gucci and Manolos
Ron Cleese – stress management therapist
Penny Craig – Rubenesque Mum of four happy in herself
Just for laughs, who else don’t we know about?
Comments
TT — 29 September at 10:08AM
Apropos twinnage. I note that the Sunday Age has pretty much given up on their "separated at birth" on the back of the sports lift-out. Last week they had Matthew Scarlett and Tattoo from Fantasy Island. I mean, come on!
DA — 29 September at 10:41AM
You have to admit, there's SOMETHING there. I'm thinking more Scarlett and Marc Bolan.
Ed Kelly: genteel postal worker from Jerilderie, inventor of the pillarbox
Mauve — 29 September at 10:46AM
I once sent them Little Miss Sunshine and James Hird but twinnage is obviously in the eye of the beholder
Dean Wiggle - Professor of Early Childhood Development with a penchant for green gymwear
RobT — 29 September at 12:32PM
Javed Astle: bald mountaineer from Northern India who frequents Kathmandu speakeasies and is largely illiterate.
RobT — 29 September at 12:41PM
Bonnie Rotten: Hansard typist.
RobT — 29 September at 12:44PM
Dwayne Swan: starting Offensive Tackle for the Omaha Buffett NFL team.
RobT — 29 September at 12:46PM
Helen Jones: Meals-on Wheels volunteer in Outback Qld where there is sadly no TV/radio reception.
RobT — 29 September at 01:02PM
Adele Evans: Call-centre operator, sometime 'coffee bitch', who coulda been a contender.
DA — 29 September at 01:26PM
Ricardo da Vinci - olive farmer, married to Lisa, a moaner
Doris Karloff - part-time seamstress, runs a Bodyshop in Budapest
Dolph Harris - Scandinavian record holder in the 3-legged race
RobT — 29 September at 01:34PM
"Dools" Verne: Owner of several V8s...so last century.
RobT — 29 September at 01:44PM
Toos Doull: Dutch immigrant with skills in air-borne distribution of external floor coverings.
RobT — 29 September at 02:01PM
Fanny Bonaduce: mum to a few talented kids: currently the subject of an Oedipal complex.
RobT — 29 September at 02:02PM
...prob should be Bonaduce nee Partidge.
RobT — 29 September at 02:03PM
...prob should be Bonaduce nee Partridge.
JPR — 29 September at 04:53PM
mel gibson has a brother henry, a famous scandinavian playwright
Em — 29 September at 04:57PM
Eddie Mercury: teetotalling accountant, married with three children, who likes the simple things in life.
RobT — 29 September at 04:58PM
...and Belle Gibson, who lives in a coven in Salem MA.
SK — 29 September at 06:14PM
Garth Vader: Country and Western performer who turned to Death Metal after discovering his dark side
Chevy Ballesteros: destined to follow his brother on the pro tour, until he was found shacked up with his caddy
Dustin Bieber: Versatile, talented and enduring artist (note- not identical twins)
RobT — 29 September at 07:33PM
Donald McDonald: unhappy vegetarian adept at barefoot skiing.
Nib — 29 September at 10:51PM
Candhi: confectionery glutton.
Thirsty Alley: anorexic actress.
Brady Gaga: conservatively dressed carol singer.
Gnarly Sheen: grunge singer from Neptune.
DA — 30 September at 08:07AM
Eddy Kreuger - barber in Milwaukee
Jen Hur - greyhound trainer, part-owner of Interdominion champ, Quo Vadis
RobT — 30 September at 08:31AM
Karen Bond: Risk-averse mnemonist.
Mauve — 30 September at 08:36AM
Madonna Blackman - played a Bond girl in the sixties called Pussy Toomuch
Mauve — 30 September at 08:51AM
Engelbert Cobain - Troubled crooner who sang depressing and nihilistic lyrics to the backing of the Boston Pops Orchestra. His suicide note read "Please release me..."
RobT — 30 September at 01:21PM
Johnno: shrinking violet who wears Raybans only to not draw attention to himself.
Em — 30 September at 02:45PM
Evangeline Hanson: tireless campaigner for human rights, ambassador of the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre
DA — 30 September at 03:38PM
Been chuckling about Engelbert Cobain all day, Mauve. A few more:
Guido Domingo - a shoeshine who whistles while he buffs in Guadalajara
Kerry Seinfeld - unlike her brother, her life in upstate New Jersey means something
John Weasley - a bludger in Oxford
Hughie the Fly - MIA
Mauve — 30 September at 04:57PM
poor dead Hughie - the good ones die first - nice one DA
Spike Gilligan - mainstream comedian non-legend whose antics on a tropical isle influenced no future comedians and who was the nong in "The Ning Nang Nong"
Mauve — 30 September at 05:14PM
...and was less likely to wrestle with insanity than to pillow-fight with inanity
DA — 30 September at 05:45PM
Cindy Irwin - young shut-in advocate of drift nets and pre-emptive taxidermy
RobT — 30 September at 06:44PM
Vinny Me: beast of a man. Thinks he is Danny de Vito's doppelganger.