September 28 2010
Have Hype Will Travel
You think the Delhi Games have problems? Try living in a town like Dismal Swamp, in northern Tasmania, or Cockburn west of Broken Hill, and see how many visitors you pull.
That’s your challenge these next few days – to devise a slogan for some of Australia’s less attractive names – plus a handful of not-so-dainty North American spots. Kite-flying an idea for Broke, say, on the western edge of the Hunter Valley, you may try ‘Broke: Why Not Go For It?’
Or: ‘Broke: Don’t Fix a Thing.’
Or: ‘Broke: Anagram Heaven’
Apply tangents, artful smut, puns, flak spin, rhyme, allusion – any tool at your disposal, so long as a laugh results, or a visitor’s inquiry is provoked. Ideally both.
For reasons of spam filters, don’t be too potty-mouthed, but innuendo and lavatory humour is encouraged. In fact, almost unavoidable. Winners will be listed in shortlist fashion, depending on the weight of wit and brilliance the Storm inspires. Get spinning. Deadline close of biz on Thursday.
Broke, NSW
Burpengary, Q
Burrumbuttock, NSW
Chinaman’s Knob, NSW
Cockburn, NSW
Coffin Bay, SA
Come By Chance, NSW
Dismal Swamp, Tas
Innaloo, WA
Iron Knob, SA
Mooball, NSW
Mount Buggery, Vic
Mount Misery, Vic
Poowong, Vic
Useless Loop, WA
++
Accident, Maryland
Dildo, Newfoundland
Embarrass, Minnesota
Hell, Michigan
Hooker, Oklahoma
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Comments
SK — 28 September at 11:07AM
Hmmm....may have to be VERY careful with this storm...
Chinaman's Knob (NSW)- Sister town Mount Disappointment (Vic)
Mount Buggery (Vic)- Welcome to Queensland
JD — 28 September at 12:22PM
Discover Newfoundland in all its spring glory:
"Come pick a daffodil down in our town"
Simon L — 28 September at 03:28PM
Coffin Bay: "Free from horse flu since 1993"
Iron Knob: "In no way associated with Wilson Tuckey"
Useless Loop: "...that goes nowhere but back to our main street, which is a..."
Also,
Mole Creek (Tas): "So excellent"
Simon L — 28 September at 03:42PM
Mount Misery: "We would love your company"
DK — 28 September at 05:08PM
Yorkey's Knob (Qld) - You're sure to get lucky.
Scone (NSW) - Watch your head.
Come By Chance (NSW) - If we knew you were coming we'd have baked a cake.
Mr X — 28 September at 05:16PM
Innaloo, WA - "Sister town to Dunedoo, NSW"
Mr X — 28 September at 05:18PM
Hooker, Oklahoma - "The world's oldest town."
Mr X — 28 September at 06:59PM
Poowong, Vic - "You're standing in it"
Mr X — 28 September at 07:01PM
Mount Buggery, Vic - "Go to ... here"
DK — 28 September at 08:01PM
Burpengary (Q) - Gary's in a pickle.
SK — 28 September at 09:38PM
Accident, Maryland- "A great place to crash for the night"
Intercourse, Pennsylvania- "Trace your pilgrim roots"
Hell, Michigan- "We keep the home fires burning"
Dismal Swamp, Tas- "A wetland paradise on the tip of the Tassie Map"
Useless Loop, WA- "Birthplace of Pauline Hanson"
Iron Knob,SA- Sister town to Mount Aspiring, NZ
SK — 28 September at 09:45PM
Iron Knob, SA- "Via Grafton, begin your lasting journey"
or... "Visit the Iron Knob Heritage Museum and bone up on our town"
SK — 28 September at 09:49PM
Cockburn, NSW- Sister town to Hooker, Oklahoma
PRS — 28 September at 10:02PM
Hooker, Oklahoma – Come, golf with our pros
Hell, Michigan – The place for year-round suntans
Broke, NSW – Where your dollar goes further
PRS — 28 September at 10:31PM
Useless Loop, WA – The programmer’s retirement haven
Accident, Maryland – We welcome large families
Intercourse, Pennsylvania – Get your rocks around the clock
PRS — 28 September at 10:47PM
Come By Chance, NSW – Home of the whorehouse lottery
Cockburn, NSW – Salvation is at hand
Innaloo, WA – No outdoor dunnies here
PRS — 28 September at 11:15PM
Poowong, Vic – Home of The Crapwite Diarrhoea Clinic
Embarrass, Minnesota – Enjoy yourselves – we’ve seen it all
Mount Misery, Vic – Our dyslexic sign writer meant ‘Tons Yummier’
Mount Buggery, Vic – Home of the Bounty Mugger
DA — 29 September at 06:33AM
Hell: Yes!
Coffin Bay: Where Edward and Jacob come out to play
Accident: Discover serendipity
Dildo: Birthplace of Steely Dan
Innaloo: At your convenience
JD — 29 September at 11:26AM
Come by Chance: Come by Train, Boat or Plane; just Come!
Dildo: You can pack a lot in to a holiday here.
Cockburn: Best Barbecued chicken this side of the Black Stump!
JS — 29 September at 11:33PM
Intercourse: We're not all talk!
xobhcnul — 29 September at 11:45PM
Iron Knob: You can't beat it.
xobhcnul — 30 September at 12:01AM
Chinaman's Knob: Blow your road here.
PRS — 30 September at 01:11AM
Iron Knob, SA – Come here, we’re closer than Dildo, NL
Dildo, NL – More than it’s cracked up to be
PRS — 30 September at 01:24AM
Chinaman’s Knob, NSW – Down a wrong and winding load
Mauve — 30 September at 08:55AM
Like Lenny Hayes’s “wobbly punt” last Saturday, my life just took an unexpected turn, but it’s good to be back (maybe unlike Lenny Hayes)
Useless Loop: Purveyors of wedding rings to Zsa Zsa Gabor
Cockburn: Famous for our hot clams
Dildo: We Put Pleasure On The Map
(graffiti addition: “of Tasmania”)
Coffin Bay: Go six feet under without digging
Accident: World’s Biggest Market For Secondhand Ladd
e
r
s
Embarrass: Come and paint the town red(...der)
Useless Loop: See the world’s only empty pool for backstrokers
Come By Chance: Where there’s a horny secretary under every desk
Mauve — 30 September at 08:58AM
hmm, cutting and pasting made my visuals for Accident lose their impact, but hopefully you get the idea.
Mauve — 30 September at 08:59AM
and whoops, one correction...
Come By Chance: Where there's a horny secretary under every second desk
DA — 30 September at 09:42AM
Congratz team - you all have futures on Madison Avenue. Good to see you back on deck, Mauve, and welcome xobhcunl. (I thought you were Mayan for a minute, until taking a backward glance.)
A few more slogans to throw on the table:
Mount Buggery: On a clear day you can see Gomorrah.
Intercourse: Come up for a coffee.
Come By Chance: Try our cycle tour down cobbled lanes.
Useless Loop: Proud sponsors of the Burke & Wills Expedition
Accident: Tidy Town Winenr
Mauve — 30 September at 12:49PM
Hell: Where the bloody heaven are you?
Burrumbuttock (originally Currockball)
Poowong: See where Cwistopher Wobin disagweed with his stubborn teddy.
Hooker: As featured in “Romantic 15-minute Getaways”
Burpengary: Come and have a beer with the Abletts
Broke: Nearly fixed!
Dismal Swamp: You’ll love us, we’re positive!
Intercourse: Beware of trains entering tunnels
PRS — 30 September at 01:52PM
The eruza euh of this hype encourages me to proffer one, I refrained from posting last week
sucof - dazed
xobhcnul — 30 September at 02:28PM
Cockburn: Home of the Redwood.
DA — 30 September at 08:50PM
Thanks all. Will sift and select a splendid shortlist over the w/end, once I flee these latest idiot-box commitments. Some absolute belters amid this batch of slogans.
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