September 14 2011
Historic Txt
Whimsical, I know. But this cute idea in the latest New Yorker grabbed my attention. A TV producer called William Sorensen imagined what text slang is happenin' among baby boomers, dreaming up such gems as NSR (Need Some Roughage), RB<DM (Russell Brand is no Dudley Moore), X2EZ (crossword too easy today) and IV-NV (my kid’s going to big-name college, neighbour’s jealous).
Opening the way to all sorts of speculative SMS glimpses A pithy piece of thumb-speak from a lost generation, a fallen empire, a movie character – ? Anyone, any moment, any era. Let’s collate a comical collection of pseudo-historical txts, pretending that the technology has always been around.
Apologies in advance if not all your symbols can be posted – though cutting and pasting can sometimes work. Anyhow, here are some starter ideas, and perhaps the clearest way to file:
—–: [asp bite] – Cleopatra
C SL& & ODD 4NA [see southern land and odd fauna] – Captain Cook
+2BRUTE – Julius Caesar
CIND YNE LIL BR@ [Cindi a whiny little brat] – Greg Brady
GRRRR [WAN]KRRRR [I hate Sir John Kerr] – Gough
Funniest, wiliest, pithiest and/or most original will win iMedals. Deadline is Friday lunchtime, to allow for the Storm’s delayed upload. Get 2IT.
PS – here are ten ads to promote the historic phones used in this week’s Storm. Some uber-cringe nostalgia, back when the word MOBILE was either wishful or ironic.
Comments
RobT — 14 September at 11:20AM
STZR SX (S. Williams)
RobT — 14 September at 11:29AM
OS RX...WTF! (T-Rex)
DA — 14 September at 11:30AM
Fair start, RobT.
[Stosur sux] - let's try to favour a translation as well, unless it's super clear. That way a sweeping eye can enjoy the medley more easily.
RobT — 14 September at 11:31AM
>-| ): (A Boleyn)
RobT — 14 September at 11:34AM
>-| ): GRRRRR\ (A Boleyn)
RobT — 14 September at 11:35AM
[...tried to separate head and tail but no dice.]
Em — 14 September at 11:43AM
__/\__ UHOH - Jaws trailer
Em — 14 September at 11:47AM
ALLUNEED:<3 - John Lennon
Em — 14 September at 11:52AM
US>JC - John Lennon again
Boniface — 14 September at 12:29PM
2:0 CU@hell
(Intercepted txt from Churchill to Hitler, 30 April 1945)
Geoff Bailey — 14 September at 12:34PM
Not sure these really match the spirit of things, but:
X^N + Y^N = Z^N NO SOLS 4 N > 2; HAVE GR8 PROOF BUT SMS 2 SML 2 CONTAIN MY GENIUS. -- Pierre de Fermat.
GOT A FEELING I'M BEING FOLLOWED. -- Jesus Christ (old joke, my encounter with it due to Hale & Pace).
ARGENTINA: NO TEARS, K? -- Eva Peron.
WOKE UP THIS MORNING, KID HAD SCRIBBLED ALL OVER THE WALLS AND IT WON'T WASH OFF. -- unknown, Lascaux
XTRMN8! -- Every Dalek SMS, ever.
Sam — 14 September at 01:03PM
If Bertie Wooster could text:
?ho [what ho!]
.. [pip-pip]
Othng [old thing]
!!!!!!!!!!!! [the caterpillar’s boots]
^ ^ [the eel’s eyebrows]
>< [the cat’s whiskers]
2dloo [toodle-oo]
RM — 14 September at 01:09PM
A simple disemvowelling following Sam:
Jeeves: NDD SR (Indeed, sir?)
Em — 14 September at 01:32PM
From TV and movies:
U TXT? - Lurch joins the 21st century
DVL'S GR8ST TRICK = NO DVL - Verbal Kint, The Usual Suspects
NO2HOOTS - Rhett Butler (Frankly, my dear...)
SHOW ME $$ - Rod Tidwell, Jerry Maguire
LUKE, ME=DAD. DITY? MY BAD - Darth Vader
DA — 14 September at 02:13PM
nife? NIFE!! - Crocodile Dundee
[Some lovely messages coming through.]
RobT — 14 September at 02:19PM
YU 4SAKEN ME? CYA X (Christ, J.)
Boniface — 14 September at 02:24PM
Fly lk Bfly stng lk B (Muhammed Ali)
RobT — 14 September at 02:33PM
U TLKN 2ME x5? - Travis Bickle
RobT — 14 September at 02:44PM
IM K OF THE WWW FFS...GRGL grgl - Leo di Caprio
Boniface — 14 September at 02:53PM
4x20&7 yrs ago our frs brt 4th on ths cont a nw n8n... [Abe]
RobT — 14 September at 02:59PM
i no ize the bod ovva chk but i got the gutz ovva king (QE1)
RobT — 14 September at 03:13PM
ps 'vv' = two v's!
Sam — 14 September at 03:13PM
LbrT, -2iT, FratrniT [Liberté, égalité, fraternité] – is there a better way to do this?
Let em e@ cke [Let them eat cake]
dg — 14 September at 03:15PM
@ (Van Gogh's sacrifice)
Sam — 14 September at 03:18PM
@RM - g0 [good egg!]
Mr X — 14 September at 03:49PM
It's an obvious one but:
2B/-2B = ? (Hamlet)
Anthony Douglas — 14 September at 04:03PM
@ Geoff Bailey: no way! Long long time no see, but it must be you from that first text.
ITS S () AFTER ALL- NOT! - Columbus
Boniface — 14 September at 04:23PM
Sry - K. Rudd
Em — 14 September at 04:45PM
LYT BLB MOMENT LOL - Thomas Edison
Em — 14 September at 04:50PM
Works better as:
LYT BLB MMT LOL - Thomas Edison
RobT — 14 September at 04:53PM
H2O LOL. (Noah)
Em — 14 September at 04:57PM
BRB - The Terminator
Em — 14 September at 04:58PM
///// - Jack the Ripper
DA — 14 September at 05:12PM
Em's on fire. Some succinct zingers.
Though maybe Edison's light bulb could be txt-ified like so:
_(<>)_
Just a low-watt whim...
Em — 14 September at 05:26PM
Thanks DA. Your lightbulb definitely trumps mine.
<$10K? ZZZZ - Linda Evangelista
DA — 14 September at 05:43PM
Nice gag, Em.
PS, for an old-skool LOL, check out the link I've just added to the original post. Whole bunch of quaint TV ads for the first-gen of mobiles. Shameful.
RobT — 14 September at 07:14PM
MTWTFS:)ZZZZZZ - God
Criseyde — 14 September at 09:26PM
Hang in there RobT. I hope you are okay.
SK — 15 September at 05:28AM
L=N4T (Fifty is the new forty)
$40 (Money For Nothing)
Em — 15 September at 07:51AM
What could have been:
R, NOT DED. W8 4 ME - Juliet
Em — 15 September at 08:17AM
U LYK? WRS MY 0? - Beyonce
:(4DVL - Mick Jagger
LYF ============== - Tom Cochrane (Life is a Highway - not working too well. Picture a long stream of underlined equals signs.)
RobT — 15 September at 10:55AM
-^o^- FLY NOT BACK!!! LOL (Susie O'Neill)
RobT — 15 September at 10:58AM
-^o^- GOLD FLY NOT BACK LOL!! (Susie O'Neill, 1996)
JD — 15 September at 11:38AM
F N APL (Have an apple - Eve to Adam) Tried to stick a heart at the end of it, but it's beyond my keyboard abilities.
RobT — 15 September at 02:18PM
haha u wanna TLT @W-Mills?...LMAO (Sancho Panza)
RobT — 15 September at 02:28PM
BooT E CLL...FMD! (Errol Flynn, believed to have died during sex)
Zac — 15 September at 04:32PM
My maiden post here:
NOT KOOL - Don't look back
Not quite 'old skool' enough probably, but oh well.
philth — 16 September at 07:53AM
not the Geoff Bailey i met yesterday who is in the computational algebra group?
WTF? AN APPL? O I GT IT! (I Newton)
RobT — 16 September at 08:10AM
CAN I MSG U_H20?...EUREKA! (Archimedes)
Em — 16 September at 08:35AM
Fingers crossed this lines up correctly:
I\/\/\/I, WHO R U?
I I
I I
I I
'I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?'
Em — 16 September at 08:36AM
Dang. Pretend this editor allows extra spaces to make that work!
Em — 16 September at 08:42AM
STR8 2 PL RM <3 - Darryl Kerrigan
JD — 16 September at 09:05AM
Ich bin ein 'O' - JFK 1963
m — 20 September at 06:23PM
A little too late...
+m8 - Garry Kasparov