January 28 2011
Meh 9
While Oscars and Golden Globes are threatening to litter Tinsel Town, the time seems ripe to hand out some Meh Awards – the cryptic Razzies for turkey clues. Boniface in fact, a blog regular, reckons he found a Triple Meh in the shape of an Aardvark clue from the Financial Times a few weeks back:
(1) Most importantly, ¾ of cooker’s to be used during a party = ABOVE ALL
Quoting Boniface: “But a cooker is a stove, not an oven. Even under a very liberal view of “cooker” as anything that cooks (thereby including oven along with Jamie Oliver and the Federal Treasurer), the clue is clunky, lazy (or, at best, uninspired) and could have been so much better… triple Meh in my view!”
Do you agree? Can you cook up a better clue? Or check out these other six – all underwhelming in some regard, I reckon. Are you on the same page, or can the clues be defended? And what’s a neater clue anyway?
2) Being up before court, naked emperor stays silent initially = ERECTNESS [Puck, is that the best you do for the NESS segment?]
3) Lack of activity from lion, zebra, taiga – nothing odd there? = INERTIA [Again from Puck, the same puzzle in fact, and a forerunner for most ridiculous clue of 2011.]
4) Serbian resisting kitchen dresser = CHETNIK [A Double Meh for mine, from the Puckster again. Dresser is a shabby signpost, and Chetnik as an answer is plain esoterik.]
5) Happy and carefree loved one packs lacy pants = HALCYON [Times 8899. Another subpar signpost in PANTS, while HON as loved one is pushing the friendship a tad.]
6) Canine tears round son to get snack = CRISPS [Flimsy. Since when does canine equal C? Do we need a dental diploma to fill the gaps?]
Um, you know the drill. Post your clue views here, and suggest a few finer redrafts, should the Muse move.
Comments
Anthony Douglas — 28 January at 10:24AM
I think I'd have gone for taipan rather than taiga, if I wanted the clue that badly!
Mr X — 28 January at 10:42AM
For Number 5 I think "pants" works OK in the UK context where it's a slang term for something that's lame, weak or generally crap.
DA — 28 January at 10:47AM
True X, I did forget that local nuance. Pants = poor/psycho. One to remember. Consider HALCYON un-Mehed.
Boniface — 28 January at 12:43PM
2. Here's my go, for AFL fans:
For ladder position, Essendon dropped Long after recent poor form (9)
3. Although I would have clued the front part of this clue differently, I think this is actually a good clue. The way I read the surface reading, the oddness relates to taiga as a homophone for tiger.
4. I think Chetnik is OK, being part of the Chetnik/kitchen/thicken anagram set. But the opportunity to use 'mess' here was missed! eg:
Mess kitchen serving Serbian soldier (7)
5. Having a few pommy mates, I've also heard pants used to mean drunk, eg "Last Friday night we all went out and got pantsed." Anyone know the derivation?
6. I agree - clueing C by canine is, well, a dog of a thing to do. I would give my eye teeth for a better clue here, so here's my go:
Crisis, apparently one eye lost in pitstop burns (6)
Mauve — 28 January at 12:53PM
Yes, copperhead would be better than canine, and "small snack" instead of son and snack would be better imo, although I can't put it all together
maybe "copperhead slashes, devouring small snack" although slashes is a bit meh
JT — 28 January at 12:57PM
1. A lovable muddlehead? (5,4)
2. Viagra's aim: ramrod poles! (9)
3. In expressing hesitation, Tia shows apathy (7)
4. Serbian fighter, and French, overwhelmed by evil Chink (7)
6. Bend after Quentin becomes hard (6)
Stig Helson — 28 January at 01:07PM
I think if you are going to bag clues from UK papers, then any replacement clues should at least be written with a UK audience in mind. If someone is going to "cook up a better clue", then surely the original context needs to be taken into consideration? For example, there's no way "copperhead" would get through a UK editor's check.
Stig
DA — 28 January at 01:17PM
True, Stig. All these clues are drawn from UK papers, and a redraft could take that setting into consideration. Though I don't think that should limit our palettes. If a copperhead can weave its way into the right clue, then nab it, I say.
DA — 28 January at 01:23PM
As for being pantsed, we all know that's a different imbroglio down under. To be pantsed can either mean to lose one's trou in ambush, or face the ignominy of an eight-ball drubbing on the pub table. Both seem a step away from being in your cups.
Simon L — 28 January at 04:04PM
I agree with boniface on clue 3 with respect to the surface sense.
Count me as a vote against CHETNIK though - too obscure for my taste.
Mauve — 28 January at 05:55PM
or a third meaning of pantsed: to be coloured
proudly,
Mauve
JPR — 29 January at 05:23PM
#5
"Carry on Halfwit" loses war (rift), scrambled: idyllic!
Sam — 29 January at 06:14PM
Perhaps for #5?
"Computer says no" contrary catch-cry outright gold
Boniface — 29 January at 11:51PM
#5: Gutted and repaired massive quartz kingfisher.
SK — 30 January at 10:59AM
2. Agree...with the surface sense of the clue where on earth does "naked emperor" come from? Surely there were many easier options, eg ..."new evidence stuns suspect at first". Or something like that.
3. INERTIA- Inability to move...that's train travel!
4. CHETNIK- Serbian soldier meets surfer girl, according to Spooner
5. HALCYON- Happy-go-lucky doctors only charge 50%
6. CRISPS- Brown's cows roam in shambolic patterns, shunning leadership
SK — 30 January at 03:02PM
Slight amendment (with apologies to all those fine folk who work for the railways)-
INERTIA- Going nowhere, unable to move...that's train travel!