February 11 2011

Pot Roast

imagesCATPMIHK Linguist and TV regular, Kate Burridge throws down a gauntlet in her entertaining read, Gift of the Gob. The challenge is gob-related in fact, and I quote: Cannibalism is the ultimate of all our food taboos, if not society’s ultimate taboo. But where are the euphemisms?

Seems every other cultural delicacy, from bathroom breaks to death, has a string of phrases to mask the unpleasant details. But not cannibalism.

In campus circles, the practice is dubbed anthropophagy, but that won’t wash as a fudge-term in general conversation. So what will?

Hannibal Lecter, perhaps the most infamous human-muncher, delights in the phrase of having dinner with an old friend. Which must get the prize so far. But can you out-phrase the cannibal? Feels like a comical column in the making – all we need is some succulent suggestions. How can we ‘name’ cannibals or cannibalism with style? From facetious to ingenious, all ideas welcome – and I’ll pass the cream onto Kate as well!

Comments

JD — 11 February at 09:53AM

"I'd love to nibble your ears, all the way down to your toes"

JD — 11 February at 09:59AM

"Nothing like a warm danish for breakfast, and a chilled Italian for lunch"

JD — 11 February at 10:12AM

"I toast your eyes,..... then sprinkle them with a touch of tabasco, and serve them on rice"

DA — 11 February at 10:23AM

It's so true JD. A glut of romantic language is about making the beloved edible:

almond eyes
cherry-ripe lips
strawberry kisses

I'm getting peckish.

Anthony Douglas — 11 February at 10:37AM

Well, in the spirit of vegetarian, fruitarian and the like, there's always 'humanitarian'!

And you've heard the old 'love thy neighbour' line.

I was going to say, that last one's a bit 'tongue in cheek', before I realised that was another entry.

What can I say? I'm a man of good taste. (But please don't chew me up and spit me out)

DC — 11 February at 11:07AM

'Long pig' is the traditional euphemism (or, it seems, the Polynesian translation). And eating someone could be a euphemism in its own right.

As someone said in an old Doctor Who episode, of a liquefied policeman: the cream of Scotland Yard.

DC — 11 February at 01:33PM

I've also seen Soylent Green used in a more general sense than the original source (sauce?)

DA — 11 February at 01:51PM

Great tip, DC. Never heard of Soylent Green, a sci-fi thriller where eating people isn't as wrong as it used to be. The poster's straplines are hilarious:

IT'S THE YEAR 2022.
PEOPLE ARE STILL THE SAME.
THEY'LL DO ANYTHING TO GET WHAT THEY NEED.
AND THEY NEED SOYLENT GREEN.

Curiously, the director is Richard Fleischer.

JD — 11 February at 02:02PM

Euphemistically speaking, I guess one could 'harbour a consuming passion', or be known to 'partake of the pleasures of the flesh',but these have other connotations.

JD — 11 February at 02:09PM

And one I remember from primary school:
"Daddy, Daddy, I don't like my sister"
"Well just leave her on the side of the plate and eat your vegies."

GymBunnies — 11 February at 02:55PM

I can't go past Anthony's humanitarian for the role.
For the act may I suggest:

Eating wild turkey (my favourite).
Eating salad without the topping (bit crytpic).
Helping an organ donor.
Chewing someone's ear off.
Cutting out the middle man.
Recycling some free range organs.
Lectering. (after Hannibal Lecter, obviously).
Honouring the Count (Dracula).
Counting.
Conserving the earths resources.
Doing my bit for the global population problem.
Dining Papuan-style.
Attending the Lord's Supper.(Eating the flesh and drinking the blood).
Enjoying a little TLC (Tastes Like Chicken).
Meating a friend for dinner.
etc.

Is there anyone I haven't offended yet? Good job you didn't name that movie...

Kyla Ward — 11 February at 03:46PM

Upon consideration, I would go with "inguestion".

Mauve — 11 February at 04:49PM

It reminds me of the old inbred joke:

Inbred husband comes home from work.
Inbred wife serves him a meal of chicken, steak, and sausages.
Husband: Where are the vegetables?
Wife: They're not home from school yet.

maybe
"I need a mortal in my portal"
"I need a mummy in my tummy"

DA — 11 February at 05:03PM

Cannibal to mate: These clowns taste funny.

Mauve — 11 February at 05:37PM

"These anthropoids are making me thirsty"

Mauve — 11 February at 05:52PM

"I like my albino Samoans rare"

Mauve — 11 February at 05:58PM

Maitre d': And finally, Mr Creosote, a wafer thin ballerina.

— 11 February at 06:39PM

Recycling humans?

Boniface — 11 February at 07:09PM

***Good taste warning (so to speak!)***

I'd like to suggest "having a ball" as a new euphemism for this taboo, based on the following anecdote:

Cannibal A to Cannibal B: How are you enjoying your dinner?

Cannibal B: I'm having a ball!

Eld Jaws Anon — 11 February at 09:53PM

IIRC, Mr Lecter thinks human meat tastes like chicken, so how about the phrase "having Clayton's chicken" (dredging up memories of that "Clayton's" drink, the "drink you have when you're not having a drink")?

dg — 12 February at 12:01AM

the recycling one was me.

Eating Adam's apple

GymBunnies — 12 February at 09:30AM

Maybe not a great euphemism, but surely a cannibal is a homovore?

Nib — 12 February at 11:15AM

I would go for 'Hominivore' as it sounds closer to omnivore.

Homodelectus
A cannoisseur
The brother white meat
"You are what you eat."
Can nibble is 'em

— 12 February at 04:04PM

Put some dork on your fork.

JD — 12 February at 04:05PM

Feed them man-meat.

gerri — 12 February at 05:39PM

what was unusual about the cannibal's daughter?
she was eight before she was seven

gerri — 12 February at 07:12PM

one other thing i just remembered, the spookey mens chorale have a song about cannibalism if ppl wish to find it. it's very clever and amusing

DC — 12 February at 10:29PM

I don't know if the one you're thinking of, but Weddings Parties Anything have a great song called 'A Tale They Won't Believe', about such things.

DA — 14 February at 08:57AM

Some wonderful leads and suggestions here. And another bone for the stew, in light of Van Diemen's Land movie:

The Alexander Technique

"No veggies for me, thanks. I'm on the Pearce Diet."

JD — 14 February at 11:12AM

Thinking of movies, maybe we could have:
Airline Food,
or the Andes Planecrash Diet

Boniface — 14 February at 05:11PM

"A Mignonette Morsel"

For those who don't know the story - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R_v_Dudley_and_Stephens

You wouldn't wanna be the cabin boy...