The Unclueables

Nice challenge DA. I must admit that my mind wandered momentarily from centre court on Saturday night to imagine how one would clue KIM CLIJSTERS. I came up with zilch. But had LI NA won, the challenged could have been nailed easily (or the burden would have sounded less heavy...)

Looking forward to having a crack at your gnarly dozen a little later.

I will throw one in to start-

AK- An imitated uprising sounds like a central takeover

DA - just a couple of typos before we launch headlong into this Kafkaesque nightmare:

Friedrich Nietzsche
Mandawuy Yunupingu

Will you be enforcing the BITSOW rule?
(Brevity is the soul of wit).

Good start, SK. (And I keep seeing LIMERICKS in KIM CLIJSTERS name, or MISTER SLICK + J.)

By the way, I'm hoping to install a Recent Comments roster on the Blog page, so we can all keep track of whos adding what, and where. At least I'm hoping that's possible - a welcome suggestion from Mauve.

FJ - Grey film doctor jams keen fans?

Resisting the temptation to use the word 'mutant'...

Cheers Boniface - both typos fixed. Our list is live.

MW: Back end was a lower sound of rude boy music.

Sorry Andy, but:

ND: Star takes vitamin to void Jock upset.

Avoiding fried schnitzels at all costs:

FN: Sunburnt loaded Chinese, smashed around back part of hotel.

MH: He'll lie, croquembouche not our bag.

Wow, some indigenous names are tough. But here goes nothing (with apologies to Julia's manner of speech-

MY- Waxing and waning, PM added "I'm too wise for youse"

ASSK: Loveless lost iguanas sunk you

For better reading, this one includes the definition:

FJ: Superhero celebrity has knockback in mid-summer, hands back cape.

FN: Somewhat indulgent descriptions but also precise sayings and ultimately the goal to eschew self?!

FN: Somewhat indulgent descriptions, precise sayings and ultimately the goal to eschew self?!

(Still wordy but touches on Nietzsche's style, aphorisms and 'Will to Power')

Another one that includes the definition for improved surface reading (although it would be better with italics rather than inverted commas):

FK: Australia's "Neighbours" in "Battlestar Galactica"? Obscenity ! "Fringe" lead in "Alias"? Existentialist.

ND- Radio station's talkback announcer was a zero hit in Melbourne?

Does the wordplay have to be of the traditional anagram, charade, container, homophone type? I.e. could JM be 'He's a moving picture when being escorted' (in deference to the eponymous Being John Malkovich)?

FN- Burned while swimming, hence zits flared up

Good point, dg. You can choose a cryptic definition, such as your JM example. May well be an option with these intransigent letters.

That was me.

Definition included yet again:

AK: A no-no: A lame sounding knockout takes on an ex-sporting knockout

FK: French Bank failed - dans la merde!

Sam, c'est TROP francais, je crois. Quelle domage!

(I think that's a bit TOO french, alas. Merde = the scatological obsession)

ZG: Sixpence, said girl, if Scot gets a short kiss

Talking of tennis...

MH: Miniskirt sounds like wrapper for a fit Mrs Hewitt

KT: King hit, stay punch-drunk lest his pizzazz bury you finally

A collection of cliches:
ND: New egg king. Spinner is all right for biblical witch in charge.

MW- Inside "Toorak's Wok" I saw aimless backpackers

ZG- Hack fails again; I edit after zero leads

ASSK: Silly Yanks' unusual GI lout

JM- Jack wrongly hit six teachers in the guts

FJ: Mullhead in knock-off ripped jeans steals heart of Kansas

A variation on my previous MY (cleaner anagram signpost, fewer redundant bits)-

MY- PM ("too wise for youse") waning and in trouble

Making use of the New Cryptic Alphabet:

FJ: Spoof film trailer in German, yes new senseless ending needs editing.

sorry, that was me above

Not that you'd see it in a weekend cryptic, but:

MW: IMO, Kawasaki's W class is a great ride

FJ- Movie lead secured by celebrity actress Scarlett held no surprise

Aargh...scrap last clue. Just remembered she is a "..son", not a "..sen". Back to the Nordic drawing board...

KT: You after drug-free zesty tokay mixed with sulfur?

MY: Dump guy nun away in U-Haul

AK: A star admits ruin - an OK kill

FK: Far out NZ! NZ parrot eats forefinger

Proud of this effort:

Zulu South Africa duplicates smelted Gabon gold for Hungarian celebrity. (3,3,5)

^ Actually, change 'Hungarian celebrity' to 'maneater'. :P

JM: Can drunk Victorian be engrossed in match ends?

Nib: ZZG

FK: Open final letter in ("Finland")?

(Does 'Yev Kassem aka "The Soup Nazi" ' = 'Yev Kassem ("The Soup Nazi")'?)

FN: Philosopher is nothing less than mad, then schizo, finding refuge in a Chinese classic.

In my opening comment I pondered the difficulty of clueing KIM CLIJSTERS, so I guess I made a rod for my own backhand-

KC- Mum's heart goes out; just cries over spilt milk

And a minor modification to earlier FN, to (maybe?) improve the surface sense-

FN- Sunburnt while swimming, hence zits flared up

Anyone feel like clueing Sammy Davis Jr?

My attempt:

SDJ: Smarmy David Jones, outdone dramatically by pint-size entertainer.

Definition-less this time:

ND: No, Virginia, Lang cuts gag, nothing to state.

Struggling with Bjork, though thinking of Kafka perhaps:

Or Joseph after silent sanger?

ASSK: Noel's asking unusually tricky problems.

MH: Heh! 'Comb Clique' spread takes in magazine

MH- Military Intelligence, commando leaders raided Quebec hell-hole

FJ- The first three familiar answers sent Jekyll reeling inside

Here's an &lit:

KT: Leading knock out specialist - top young amateur then seven zealous years undefeated!

MH: Barack and Lleyton's wives have the Spanish hour (nearly) with the Queen.

can you use bingo slang in clues, or is it too variable? Here goes:

ND: Kim, department store cook, stirred holding chopsticks

FK- Honest about final letter, leader's adopted family knew all

MY: Piece of marble telling you why solver was aware of animated penguin.

ASSK- Mob using sauna. Yuk!

KT- Oddly knows a toy car to size you

JM: Ex-premier imprisoned bad French King Oscar the fifth in a bottomless hole.

My unclueable suggestion is Superman's mischievous nemesis from the 5th dimension the fictional Mr. Mxyzptlk

Ouch, that's a fine suggestion, Mr X. Here's my own early bid, with a touch of Canberra:

MR MXYZPTLK: During 2010, Labor's last couple of unknowns quietly talk anaemic leader into quitting

I'll finish off the dirty dozen with:

ZG: By last account, his possessions are a failing career and a kickback

Here's a suggestion for an unclueable...or maybe the challenge should simply be brevity. Walter Matthau's real name-

WALTER MATUSCHANSKAYASKY

I might modify my last entry to:

ZG: By last account, his essence is a failing career at a rock bottom

WALTER MATUSCHANSKAYASKY is not as hostile as your first fear. Here he is naked:

WAL [law reversed] + TERM + AT + US + CHANS [detective's] + KAYA[S]K

Now to seam those elements into one elegant whole....

JM: 2 P.M.- 'round about when Cyclone Tracy hit Melbourne hard?

I reckon the Sri Lankan cricketers would offer a few unclueable:

Kumar Sangakkara
Muttiah Muralitharan
Sanath Jayasuriya
Tharanga Paranavitana
Upul Tharanga
Lahiru Thirimanne
Jeevantha Kulatunga
Mahela Jayawardene
Chamara Kapugedera
Thilan Samaraweera
Prasanna Jayawardene
Tillakaratne Dilshan
Chaminda Vaas
Arjuna Ranatunga etc etc

and

Kapila Wijegunawardene (thankfully he didnt play much)

My last comment was wiped. :( Anyway how about little-known Sri Lankan cricketer, Kapila Wijegunawardene (and almost any of his teammates)?

Thank God his middle name wasnt used....

Kapila Indaka Weerakkody Wijegunawardene

A technical hiccup, dg. Can't blame the filter for freaking out over that Sri Lankan list.

You could destroy any racecaller's career if you supplied a field of horses with those names.

I think Muttiah Muralitharan was clued beatifully already a few years ago. I forget how it went.

Thank you JD - and you think I can find that clue? Lost in the misty archives...

FN: Sauteed fat schnitzel, left out tenderizing! Leatherlike middle.

Would Ludwig Wittgenstein be a good unclueable, or is he too anagram friendly?

sorry, that was me above

You're right about Walter, DA. I threw him in more for the length than the degree of difficulty. You stripped him bare, but I can't help but see "a Tuscan sky" almost uninterrupted. So-

WM- May hearts walk randomly, weaving across a Tuscan sky

ps. Very impressive twisting of Mr.X's vowelless challenge DA. I guess that's why you get the big bucks. And I thought X's &lit for KT was an absolute knock-out.

DA,

I did remeber that too. But I couldnt remember if your answer included his first name. (Besides you can't mention SL cricket without him.)

Sam,

anagram of 'guild' arounf W; Wit-t-gen(information); stein (beer mug) or anagram of 'inset'

Thanks dg - I ended up with this but not sure if it really hangs together:

Address judge in court hairpiece, cuttingly amusing, gets nine jugged.

KT (with definition so it makes sense)- Even I know satay baits Suzy (your boxer)

Mr X hit Kostya out of the ring, but kinda wowed by your Houellebecq too, SK - amng others across the board.

dg - it was a (7,11) scenario for Muttiah, but can't seem to summon up the clue in my backlist.

Man, these are hard...

ASSK: Aunt not without sports gel packaging - you got energy by the sound of it.

MW: Note a cutback of a thousand after audit of East End house and car.

Is John Ajvide Lindqvist unclueable? I've been trying to hold ninja jives on the QT but not getting anywhere...

Hmm, that MW clue of mine should have been 'before audit'.

Sam, Mr Lindqvist is a toughie. Here's a (clumsy) attempt-

Can drunk, divisive Qantas pilot land jet without an eccy?

Sam's JAL:

Shameful DVDs on evil hajji squints do not feature us.

Ouch!

Zbigniew Brzezinski

(former National Security Advisory to U.S. President Carter)

Gotta love the Poles dg...all those great scrabble letters.

ZB- Big brother in ski lodge drove Z3 that's new

And an even scarier scenario for JAL (Lindqvist, not the airline...)

JAL- Can drunk, divisive Qantas pilot land jet without engine no.1?

A variation for Ziggy-

ZB- Big Brother in ski lodge...slept through commotion. That's new!

Nice one SK and Boniface - here is my inferior attempt (for a down clue):

JAL: Unknown man's given name German yes? Up at inquest hearing you left 5:05, 5:57 chaos.

Talking of difficult names, how would one clue the name of the pop-star Prince, known in the 90's simply as:

!

Never mind clueing it, how would you fit it into a grid?!

Feeling masochistic, I thought there may be some great unclueables among old Welsh names. I came across an old Prince of Wales named DAFYDD AP GRUFFUDD and then spent the next 20 minutes trying to make something of it:-

Pa, a gruff fuddy duddy, travelled without you. Why?

ps. Still working on IDWAL IWRCH AP CADWALADR. There's a couple of retrospective laws, and a couple of commercials in there, but struggling to pull it together....

Aha! Got something for dear old Idwal (who btw was the King of Gwynedd)...

IDWAL IWRCH AP CADWALADR

Man inside (acid doctor) I draw out, and uphold two laws

Amend-

Man imprisoned in DDR; I draw CIA out and uphold two laws

Hoping to help DA a bit, my cleaner version of the Dirty Dozen:

AK: A star admits ruin - an OK kill
ASSK: Silly Yanks' unusual GI lout
FJ: Mullhead in knock-off ripped jeans steals Manson's heart
FK: Far out NZ parrot eats forefinger
FN: Sunburnt flush Chinese, smashed around back part of hotel
JM: Can drunk Victorian be engrossed in match ends?
KT: King hit, stay punch-drunk lest his pizzazz bury you finally
MY: Dump guy nun away in U-Haul
MW: IMO, Kawasaki's W class is a real head-turner
MH: He'll lie, croquembouche not our bag
ND: Star takes drug to void Jock upset
ZG: Sixpence, said girl, if Ian gets a short kiss

Sam's JAL: Shameful DVDs on evil hajji squints won't feature us

My Sammy Davis Jr: Smarmy David Jones, outdone dramatically by pint-size entertainer

Thanks for the digest, Boniface. A mighty help for the final judgement.

Good idea Boniface. Here are mine (with some last minute edits)-

AK: An identical uprising sounds like a central takeover
ASSK: Mob using sauna? Yuk!
FJ: On each occasion, the first three familiar answers sent Jekyll reeling inside
FK: Honest about the unkown, leader's avid followers kept admiration
FN: Sunburnt while swimming, hence zits flared up
JM: Jack wrongly hit six teachers in the guts
KT: Even I know satay baits Suzy (your boxer)
MY: PM ("too wise for youse") waning and in trouble
MW: Inside "Toorak's Wok" I saw aimless backpackers
MH: Military Intelligence, commando leaders raid Quebec hell-hole
ND: Radio station's talkback announcer was a zero hit in Melbourne?
ZG: Hack fails again; I abandon after zero leads

And the "extras"-

KIM CLIJSTERS: Mum's heart goes out; just cries over spilt milk

WALTER MATUSCHANSKAYASKY: May hearts walk randomly, weaving across a Tuscan sky

Sam's JOHN AJVIDE LINDQVIST: Can drunk, divisive Qantas pilot land jet without engine no.1?

dg's ZBIGNIEW BRZEZINSKI: Big brother in ski lodge crashed Z3 that's new

DAFYDD AP GRUFFUDD: Pa, a gruff fuddy-duddy, travelled without you. Why?

IDWAL IWRCH AP CADWALADR: Man imprisoned in DDR; I draw CIA out and uphold two laws

I'll post this on 2 threads:

DA,

Why is deadline Thursday sundown? It used to normally be midnight 30 hours later. Even so the Friday postings were at a trickle or less.

Can't the deadlines just revert to Saturday midnights? A few extra posts probably aren't going affect your assessments much. And they give those who've had a busy week and / or a quiet Friday (night in) a chance to post too.

MW: Back end was a lower sound of rude boy music.
ASSK: Loveless lost iguanas sunk you
FJ: Superhero celebrity has knockback in mid-summer, hands back cape.
FK: Australia's "Neighbours" in "Battlestar Galactica"? Obscenity ! "Fringe" lead in "Alias"? Existentialist.
AK: A no-no: A lame sounding knockout takes on an ex-sporting knockout
KT: Leading knock out specialist - top young amateur then seven zealous years undefeated!
MH: Barack and Lleyton's wives have the Spanish hour (nearly) with the Queen
FN: Philosopher is nothing less than mad, then schizo, finding refuge in a Chinese classic.
ND: No, Virginia, Lang cuts gag, nothing to state.
MY: Piece of marble telling you why solver was aware of animated penguin
JM: Ex-premier imprisoned bad French King Oscar the fifth in a bottomless hole.
ZG: By last account, his essence is a failing career at a rock bottom

JM: Before church, 'Mojo' mixes it with Hank & Liv
ps nice to see Nando[s] in cryptic -- there's that great ABBA song .."If I had to do it all again, I would, my friend, for Nandos"