January 25 2011
Un-Australian Day
Macquarie is the dictionary of Australian English. But what entries would lie in the un-Australian version? Just imagine if all our ideals, our mores, our sense of self were held to ridicule. Should prove a great browse, and a lively Storm. As that’s your challenge, to suggest entries for this un-Australian tome.
Be bold. Be self-effacing. And try to sidestep libel, or the wrong kind of racism, and see if we can’t whip up a lexicon. Here are some suggestions:
Curfew – respectable hour, socially enforced, at which all revellers retire to bed
Ellis, Havelock – esteemed essayist on the Evolution of Modesty and autoeroticism
Ownership – accepting one’s problems as self-inflicted, with no thought of blaming government, the ozone or the referee
Postman’s Knock – parlour game for the entire family
Tapioca – sapid breakfast choice
Unison – in which the national anthem is sung
Random, I know. But let’s start the year with a spot of self-analysis, and a grin, and see if we can’t compile the best 26 entries – ideally one word, phrase or name for each letter. That way, in a most gung-ho effort, we may generate a future un-Oz edition.
Deadline is beer o'clock, Thursday. And have a great tandoori BBQ on Wednesday, one & all.
Comments
SB — 25 January at 10:25AM
EGGS - food product used to 'Australianise' international cuisine; eg pizza, hamburgers
SK — 25 January at 10:47AM
Cocktails- a social gathering, generally in the early evening and lasting no more than 2 hours, where both men and women dress smartly, drink in moderation, and leave the host's premises at the designated time.
JD — 25 January at 11:23AM
Barbecue: A simple method of cooking basic cuts of meat over an open flame.
Boniface — 25 January at 11:28AM
New Year's Eve party - a modestly-attended public event involving limited government expenditure and where all retire just after midnight due to the abundance of clean cabs and helpful police.
Summer - a mild, temperate season noted for its absence of flies, straw-clutching media items and scantily-clad beachgoers.
BBQ - complex Australian cuisine involving export-quality meat and thoughtfully prepared garnishes, served on Wedgewood platters.
DA — 25 January at 11:30AM
Krispy Kreme - go-to lamington bakery
Carrot - healthy snackfood commonly used as a snowman's nose
Gangsta - superbad bro
SK — 25 January at 11:34AM
Thong- narrow strip of underwear, covering only the genitals and supported by a waistband (colloq.)
Rubber- condom (colloq.)
Boniface — 25 January at 11:38AM
The 7:30 Report - An evenly-balanced, objective, non-political current affairs TV program, until recently hosted by a rising media star.
JD — 25 January at 11:46AM
Gap year: A chance to travel overseas, absorb some culture and earn some money before settling into a gruelling four years at university.
DA — 25 January at 11:49AM
And in the vein of JD:
Kontiki - a means of integrating Europe's cultural, lingual and historical diversity in the company of compatriots
Boniface — 25 January at 12:12PM
Hill's Hoist - An English comedian's bra.
Holden - a classic Australian motor vehicle, renowned for its small turning circle, rust-resistant panels and excellent hand-brake.
British Bulldogs - gentle "tag" based game for shy children.
Pavlova - A non-sticky NZ dessert.
SK — 25 January at 12:20PM
Newspaper- A daily publication which carries informed and balanced coverage of key local and international current affairs, and a modest amount of coverage in the area of arts, sport, and culture
Sam — 25 January at 12:33PM
Festival - an aesthetic or sporting event-free day in Melbourne
SB — 25 January at 12:36PM
Big M - flavoured milk product embraced by beach goers
SB — 25 January at 12:45PM
Neighbours - long running TV series depicting life in an ordinary Australian suburb
JD — 25 January at 01:07PM
Kangaroo: Native Australian animal, commonly kept as a pet.
Mr X — 25 January at 01:25PM
Logies - internationally regarded awards celebrating excellence in television.
Boniface — 25 January at 01:36PM
Assuming we're talking about an encyclopaedic dictionary ala Macquarie, I'll try some of the harder letters:
Quokka: a small rodent-like Australian marsupial, fond of participating in ball games as the ball, hence 'quokka soccer' (q.v.)
Xenophon, Nick: Australian senator noted for his tolerance of gambling and religious cults, neither of which is a big issue in Australia.
Yarralumla: an inexpensive government residence, scene of various minor political squabbles.
Zinc cream: sparingly applied facial ointment, the only known protection from UVA/UVB.
JD — 25 January at 01:59PM
Australian Rules: Noble antipodal football game, revered for it's rigid codes of conduct.
SB — 25 January at 01:59PM
Myki - Efficient smart card ticketing system currently replacing old-style paper tickets on Victorian public transport
JD — 25 January at 02:01PM
Melbourne Cup: Just a horserace.
Mr X — 25 January at 03:03PM
This one seems to have not been poste. I'll try again
Logies - Internationally respected awards indicating excellence in television
Mr X — 25 January at 03:05PM
VB - Boutique real ale,, enjoyed mainly by sophisticates
Mr X — 25 January at 03:07PM
XXXX - See VB
Mr X — 25 January at 03:08PM
My Four X entry just got filtered out, no doubt it'll turn up later.
SK — 25 January at 03:58PM
Trough Lolly- Australian equivalent of the saltwater taffy
Bikkie- Someone who rides a Harley Davidson and can't spell
Bondi Cigar- A Punch No.2 (very strong aroma)
Budgie Smugglers- Their purpose is to get the birds in, but usually lack sufficient volume to warrant attention
SK — 25 January at 05:09PM
Football- the principal* winter team sport, played at amateur and professional levels across the nation
(*note- refer to sub-categories 1)Soccer 2)Australian Rules 3)Rugby League 4)Rugby Union for individual definitions of the term "principal")
DA — 25 January at 05:38PM
Ecru - a becoming shade of brown, popular among sporting jerseys
Australia - the movie
Semiotics - vibrant topic focussing on the dichotomous roles of the signifier and the signified
Quiz - bistro pastime where alcohol is eschewed in order to better tackle questions of Tudor lineage and pre-Raphaelites
Sam — 25 January at 05:57PM
Parma – a healthy example Australian haute cuisine, main ingredients include chicken, tomato sauce and cheese, cooked in liberal quantities of oil, and served with potato chips
DK — 25 January at 06:24PM
Newspaper: A daily series of crossword puzzles, word games and television guides surrounded by news of the day, sporting results and social pages.
Simon L — 25 January at 07:32PM
Soccer -
Semi-formal - A collared shirt worn with thongs, or shoes worn with a singlet.
Cricket team - A choir of insects heard in the early evening.
Simon L — 25 January at 07:34PM
Hmm, the first one should be
Soccer - (This entry deleted from the latest edition of the dictionary)
Apparently the blog engine decided that it really should be deleted!
JPR — 25 January at 08:11PM
As Italy and Nauru get confounded, it's alien time! (2-10,3)
Boniface — 25 January at 08:29PM
Good one JPR, although I still like the orgiastic Australian anagram...
Boniface — 25 January at 08:53PM
4'n'20 meat pie: A delectable Australian dish, made from only the choicest Angus beef off-cuts and served well above room temperature in a sulphite-reduced tomato jus.
JD — 25 January at 09:23PM
Mate: an animal's reproductive partner.
Sam — 26 January at 09:56AM
sausage sizzle (syn. lamington drive): state-sponsored revenue-raising events that cost more than they raise, but foster boundless good will amongst the populace [L panem et circenses].
emu: Australian variant of popular youth subculture.
SK — 27 January at 09:45AM
Rail Timetable- a randomly generated printed schedule of times, serving the sole purpose of confirming that trains can be expected to travel the designated route at some point during the day
Social Acceptance- the quaint practice (observed in some cultures) of shortening one's name by deleting all but the first syllable, and adding an "o" at the end
Formal Ball- a cultural event where men and women are transported to and from the venue in the back of a ute
Ute- a girl's name (Germanic)
DA — 27 January at 09:57AM
Bluebottle - translucent fly
Bludger - quidditch obstacle
Joey - role on friends played by Matt LeBlanc
Digger - shovel
JD — 27 January at 10:12AM
Root: To give loud vocal encouragement to your sporting team.
SK — 27 January at 10:28AM
Sick Leave- absence from work due to a debilitating or infectious ailment
JD — 27 January at 10:32AM
Ripsnorter: Someone who poohoos dangerous surfing conditions
Boniface — 27 January at 10:43AM
Dike, dyke: A flood levee.
Flood levee: An artificial wall usu. made of sandbags that prevents flooding.
Usage notes: Not to be confused with flood levy, a popular new tax imposed to redress flood victims despite other funds being available.
Mauve — 27 January at 11:15AM
Ned Kelly: an executed criminal murderer
Australia: Sydney
bonzer: (Google - Did you mean bronzer?) a suncream label needing spellcheck
Abbott and Costello: a comedy duo
sitcom: a 30-minute TV show that’s funny
Waltzing Matilda: a ballad about a self-destructive thief
JD — 27 January at 11:35AM
Bush Tucker: Tastes like S..t, but you can live on it.
Boniface — 27 January at 01:26PM
Dinky-di: A quaintly cute former English princess