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Diabolically Arcane

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9 November, 2010

Wedding bells continue to chime this week – in the wake of our nuptial Birdbrain. But this time we’re hoping to match-make partners whose surnames contrive a blissful double-barrel.

Let’s imagine Betty, the star of fetish photography, tied the knot with media baron Ted, then the world can expect the Page-Turner clan. Or if fashionista Coco threw in her considerable lot with Friends star, David, you’d be throwing handfuls of organic rice on the Chanel-Schwimmers.

That’s your challenge, Stormers: to concoct the juiciest, funniest, most implausible doublets, pairing well-known bods at the altar. Feel free to embrace anachronism, where partners can unite across eras – or dabble in the same-sex category, such as soccer star George and Goon Peter combing to be Best-Sellers. Or author Kate and actress Minnie eloping to become Holden-Driver.

Re which surname opens, just let the pun decide. And of course the sound is more important than the final spelling, as Chanel-Schwimmer illustrates.

Best way to present your offerings are as equations, like so:

Author Roald + swimmer Lisa = Dahl-Curry

Journo Charles + princess Di = Wooley-Spencer

Hollywood comics Billy + Lucille = Crystal-Ball

If you can, resist the temptation to enlist fictional characters (Jane Eyre + Jana Wendt). By Thursday sundown we should have plenty to compile a top seven in both the hetero and same-sex categories, with the winner being the matchmaker to earn the overall majority. So aim wisely, cupids.


Welcome to the new forum. Looks scary? It’s not. Feels iffy? It ain’t. The DisQus platform is here to block spam and lend us more chat options. That’s all. Please note, you don’t have to create a DisQus account to make a comment. If you do, however, it will speed your future visits. Be assured no details are abused, misused or reused. Let’s fight spam as one, and get back to the grand conversation. Thanks, DA

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Packed with games, pickles, codes and cheesy puns, Wordburger is your chance to be a champion puzzler in 20 quick bites. Ideal for wordy kids keen to open a new language door, or grown-ups who want to cut their cryptic teeth. Click here. 

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Riddles in song, in code, in pictures. From Ireland & Wonderland, Einstein & Pompeii. Riddledom reveals 101 wry questions from 50+ languages & shares their secrets. A book to unlock culture via conundrum. Order here.

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Riddledom Rave

If you missed my riddle chat with Richard Fidler, then feel free to slurp the podcast at http://ab.co/1I9t1x5

Text-speak is creeping into Scrabble. Where do you sit?
OBVS I'm fine with it
Entrenched stuff - like LOL and OMG - but no more.
Words With Friends, maybe. Scrabble, no
Let the 'real' dictionaries decide first
Just the handy stuff, like FAQ and EUW
I mean, WTF?! No way
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