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Diabolically Arcane

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The House of Pun

19 March, 2014

When rookies create a set of clues, the recipe most often neglected is the pun. Which tells you they aren’t easy to cobble together. The aim of the formula is to create a skewed definition of the solution, that’s both fair and misleading. Two years ago, in a perfect pun-storm, the Times 9351 had these three pearls:

SHOESTRINGBarely sufficient funds for securing a trainer?

DREADFULLike the dire publications Penny once bought?

BIRDS NEST SOUPSwift action is needed to make this course?

Note the mandatory question mark, or at least, the addition of ‘perhaps’ or ‘possibly’. The rest is designed to make you look the wrong way, think about different trainers, Pennies and courses. So in a jury-free Storm, let’s see who can claim to be the Master Misleader by coming with the finest pun clues for any of the words below. (The best few as agreed will likely appear in a forthcoming Wordplay column on the topic.) Come on – swift action is needed.

CHOCOLATE
PENGUIN
DIAMOND
BACHELOR
SILVER
WOLF
TOILET
CIRCUS

Use your own byline, and may the best punner prevail.

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Text-speak is creeping into Scrabble. Where do you sit?
OBVS I'm fine with it
Entrenched stuff - like LOL and OMG - but no more.
Words With Friends, maybe. Scrabble, no
Let the 'real' dictionaries decide first
Just the handy stuff, like FAQ and EUW
I mean, WTF?! No way
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