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Diabolically Arcane

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2 April, 2011

Close to 100 applications arrived at the Motor Registry this week, each one seeking to secure an oddball numberplate. A sleep therapist called RV wished to attain 9ii (nigh-nighs), Nib went nuts with tildes, a burger-flipper named DC aspired to ¼£R, a mummy’s boy named ML desired 210KMN, while a mop-dragging Boniface had his heart set on ^AKER.

But in the end the bureaucrats could only authorise the elite, the richest among the rich pickings, and below is how the system saw things. Though before we declare the prize-winners, please enjoy this stellar shortlist:

Andrew Bolt – INO>U [dg does a spot of court reporting]
Debt collector – ORLL [Pay RV respect peepz, or else]
Gambler – W4A£ [Double you for a quid, says PRS]
Kids’ writer – 11/AT [Fairy tale finish for RV]
Luciano Pavarotti – €PN10R [RK salutes a European tenor]
Sinead O’Connor – 0<>2U [Hum along with ML – a nonpareil notion]
Thomas Harris – REDDDD [DC’s fiery wit creates Red Dragon]

Best All Letters: Sigmund Freud – PNISNV (dg proves a clever dick)
Honourable Mention: Theodor Geisel, aka Dr Seuss: FEMOGZ (PRS evokes Cat in the Hat in a way that still makes me smile.)

Best Letter/Number Combo: Kurt Vonnegut – S5HA (DC makes a brilliant pretzel of Slaughterhouse Five)
Honourable Mention: Dating agency – 22CO (RV asserts that two’s company)

Top Prize Winners

BRONZE: Robbie Coltrane (if you ever saw Nuns on the Run) – AP(TER [Apparent he-sister, claims the ingenious Boniface]

SILVER: AFL fan – iIIi and Rugby fan – H [A giddy visual double from Sam]

GOLD: Dot-com magnate – .,GN8 [Gorgeous hieroglyph from DC, who pwned this Storm from green light to red. A stunning haul overall.]

Kudos to all car-owners, and thanks for such exquisite traffic all week. Look for summer’s Clues of Repute next week, with a clue-crafting element to keep you sharp. Happy motoring.

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